left behind

If I may make a suggestion: when it comes to subway transportation, look before you sit. Sometimes it's a nearly-invisible puddle of ??? and other times, it's a neatly-wrapped parcel of ???

the magic of christmas

This Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day... you gave it away.

No. What I was going to say is: this Christmas, I've been thinking about traditions a lot. This was our first married Christmas, so I felt an obligation to either officially start new traditions or officially adopt the traditions of my youth as our own. Or both? Coming up with new traditions is tough, it turns out. And even if I came up with new ones, they'd never be as awesome (cough:weird:cough) as the traditions of my youth. To wit:

1. Ugly ornaments
It started with a handmade felt ornament in the shape of Texas, grew to include such classics as "Squirrel Birthing A Leaf" and "Six Pound Cheesecake" and hit an all-new low this year with "Blown-Glass Hawaiian Shirt." A few years ago, the ornaments earned themselves their own ugly tree: lavender with pink flamingo lights. It has reportedly become a bit of a neighborhood spectacle for my parents, with mere acquaintances scouring the local handicraft booths looking for the most dreadful and tacky ornaments. But it seems no matter how awful the subject (pig in tutu) or bizarre the technique (pinecone aardvark), the cashier's reaction is always the same, "Oh, this one is just darling."

2. Soup on Christmas Eve
As a child, I remember waking up Christmas Eve morning to the smell of (scones? bacon? chestnuts?) farty-smelling pinto beans roasting on an open fire. The tradition of chili and clam chowder on Christmas Eve is a little strange, but it feels normal to me. Then again, coming from someone who is proudly displaying a wooden goose ornament, I wonder if I'm in a position to deem what is normal and not.

3. Cookie Decorating
At the Hall house, we handle cookie decorating a lot like we handle the game Balderdash. Everyone starts out giving it some real effort, some authentic creativity... but it doesn't take long for it to turn into a contest of who can offend Mom first. In hindsight, I see that it really was unfair. I mean, she went through the trouble of baking all 400 Santa-shaped cookies and dutifully frosting them... the least we can do is give him a pair of pants.

I'm proud to admit, we carried on each of these traditions this Christmas! The ornaments were a hit with our guests and the soup was delicious (straining to pat myself on the back). The cookie-decorating remained mostly G-rated, but that's because my Mister is a more refined individual than I. Or maybe it's because we only had hearts and stars... neither of which require pants.

dear richmond, virginia

Remember last night? When I was all, I wish you had a 7-11, so I could stop by on my way back from the MALL? And you were all, I HAVE ONE! And I was all, BRING IT. And then you did?

That was amazing.

bundles of joy

When the Mister and I got engaged, we had an overwhelmingly positive response, with lots of "Congratulations," and lots of "When's the Big Day," but strangely enough, the most common response (at least among my female friends) was:

"You're going to make beautiful babies!"

That's such a great compliment, but... with all due respect, female friends, you don't know that. There are several documented cases of attractive people (which I think you're suggesting we are) creating downright ugly babies. For example:
Just because two people are (relatively) attractive, doesn't mean they can't turn around and have a baby who looks like Weird Al.
Anyway, I bring this up because last night, I stumbled upon a little site called makemebabies.com and curiosity got the best of me. I was... shall I say, alarmed? with what I found:

So, I guess the good news is, we're able to e-conceive. The bad news is, we're having fat Latinas and baby Rick Astleys.

fourth in fourth

I have noticed a blog tag game going on lately, where bloggers go to their photo library, select the fourth photo in the fourth folder, and then blog about it. People, this is a game for bloggers with children. It's an opportunity to stumble upon the darling photos from the pumpkin patch or a first birthday party. Childless bloggers just come up with... "Ah yes, here is an unflattering photo of me with three chins and a pair of felt antlers at a stake Single Adult Christmas party."

So, I'm not going to play that game. Because whatever. It was an unflattering angle and I didn't even want to be there.

all day(quil) and all of the ny(quil)

It was only a matter of time before I got sick. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner, considering my morning commute feels like a city-wide group hug. Every time I have to grab hold of a smeary metal subway railing, I fear that it was most recently handled by a homeless person with tuberculosis and hand herpes.

I'm happy to report I have neither tuberculosis, nor hand herpes, but I have something else entirely unpleasant. I can't laugh without breaking into a tight, painful cough and I can feel my heart beat in my NOSE. My eyes are burning, my head aches, and I have the voice of a 13 year-old smoker (male). I've stopped blowing my nose and started just leaving the tissues stuffed into my face. Call it a preventative measure.

I'm just a wimpy sick person, I think. Some people can really work through it. Like, take for example, my Mister, who had bronchitis and a fever on our WEDDING DAY. And yet, he freaking sold it.

I, on the other hand, turn into a cranky first grader:

Mister: I'm home! I brought you some soup and tissues and cough drops!
Me: Did you bring me a puppy?
Mister: Umm... no?
Me: Whimper.

In my defense... he knows how much I've been wanting a puppy.

i support (blog) change.

I'd like to invite all you Google Reader folks to come on over to the real BiggestLittle and check out the redesign! I hope you like it. I know you're going to have some questions/concerns about the new layout, so I've put together a quick list of FAQs:

1. Who is that charming child in your new blog header?
Why, it's me.

2. How can I get my handcrafted jewelry/papergood/home decor item listed in your "Things I Like" section?
Give it to me.

3. I noticed you removed your "Listening To," "Watching," and "Reading" gadgets. Why?
Removing the gadgets felt like less of an embarrassment than admitting I was still reading the same book after 4 months. I wanted to update the Reading gadget with a new image, but the truth was, I hadn't started a new book at all. I couldn't take down JUST the Reading gadget, because then you'd think I have given up the habit altogether and have focused solely on Listening and Watching, which simply isn't true. So I scrapped them all.

4. Who are you voting for tomorrow?
Come on, guys. You know I don't discuss politics here.

Okay, it's late and I still need to lay out my outfit for tomorrow morning.