what about the rest of us?


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Lisa recently posted about the irritatingly persistent skinny jeans phenomenon, and since I live in what is arguably the skinny jeans capital of the universe, I definitely share her views. Some of you can really pull them off (Lacey, Natali, I'm looking at you), but my personal experience with them has been less: "pulling the look off," and more: "pulling the pants off (immediately, please)."

Skinny jeans are so ubiquitous in New York, it's almost weird to admit I dislike them as much as I do. It's a bit like saying you're not so sure about those cellular telephones everyone's using. Whatever. My cellular telephone has never made me look like this:


I guess I just feel like, no matter what the current trends are, I can usually identify with, or "get into" some part of them. If fashion is a radio station, even if most of the music is lame, there is bound to be a song I like every now and then. Like a little while ago, when it was all belted dresses and boot cut trousers and platform shoes and hourglass shapes? It was like Casey Kasem was dishing up hit after hit JUST FOR ME. Now? I walk through stores and feel like my radio is BROKEN. Not a single familiar or friendly tune. Tented, pillowy tops? Cropped, boxy jackets? Stirrup pants. STIRRUP PANTS? Those beasts from my adolescent past, who maintained neither their stretchiness, nor their shape, making them dangerously susceptible to slipping off during recess? I remember thinking if I just bent a little at the knees, I'd effectively shorten my body and be able to wear them safely for another month... if I also wore a really long t-shirt.

Even accessories are weird right now, you guys. I saw two girls in my neighborhood today wearing this look:

Not only does this headband look incredibly painful, but it's almost guaranteed to slowly... slowly... creep higher and higher up her head, gathering a bubble of hair in its grip.. and finally shoot straight up in the air, leaving her a disheveled mess with a raging headache.

This is the state of our fashion union, people. I have a feeling this is going to be a controversial entry because... well, some of you (Lacey, Natali) probably own stirrup pants (and totally pull them off). But I have to believe there are others out there who agree with me. Unless you're 19 years old, weigh 89 pounds, or play tambourine in an indie band (or all three), how do you pull these looks off? Is anyone else walking through H&M (or Mervyn's or wherever) and thinking... "I hate this song?"

14 comments:

Michemily said...

Yeah, I don't like the style either. But sometimes I ask myself if I'm getting further and further behind on styles. The answer, of course, is yes, as I don't ever go buy anything new (not in the international student budget). But what about stylish kids who don't wear skinny jeans or weird headbands? What are they wearing?

laceyJ. said...

You KILL me. KILL me. Are you saying that those who wear skinny jeans look like Twiddle-dee and Twiddle-dum(b)? jk. I know you don't. Thanks for thinking I look a-okay in the skinny jeans. The thing is, when skinny jeans first came out, which was like three years ago? I wanted to wear them why the fad of skinny jeans still lasted. I CANNOT believe they are STILL popular; but, I love 'em.

You, my friend, do have a very cute style, so don't get down-n-out if you don't wanna sport the newest trends.

I myself don't understand the new over-the-forehead-headband fad. Though, I wish I could sport it. If I could, I'd be so HIP! And, that's what I really wanna be.

lisa said...

I couldn't agree with you more. And I recently heard Tim Gunn say that he "despises" skinny jeans. That made me feel completely validated, as did your post.

Will said...

I saw a baby with a headband like that this weekend; I think it was the only time that look has ever been cute.
I don't know where to start with skinny jeans. They're just awful. When I see skinny jeans and shiny skirts that bag and pouch over a tight seam, I think, "Wow. I really have gotten so old I don't understand what the kids these days like. Also: GET OFF MY LAWN!"

Emily said...

I don't know what they were going for in that ad for the headband, but it doesn't make me want to wear one. Could she look any less happy?

Also, thank you for putting into words every thought that entered my head the last time I went shopping. Including the mental picture of Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dumb.

Brian Hall said...

OK, you and I both know that I am no fashion expert, but I have seen countless occurances of adolescent buttcrack because of skinny jeans. I am, after all, on the front lines in the Dress Code War, as a middle school teacher. I thank you, sister, for your strident anti-skinny jeans stance. Thank you for standing with the teachers of America in saying, "Those jeans make you look like a gyroscope, and I have no desire to ask you, yet again, to pull up your pants or change into your PE shorts, lest I stick a pencil, coin, or other small object into your gluteous display."

Let me put it this way... skinny jeans have created an intensely funny coded phrase for sending a student to the disciplinarian with a skinny-jeans-related dress code violation. Simply pick up the phone, dial the number, and say, "Top of the muffin to ya'." Nuff said.

nichole said...

ahem.

Keith and Jenna Spitzer said...

Dying of laughter over here. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?!? *Wipes tears from eyes* Too funny!

Camilla said...

DYING to laugh out loud, but stuck in the center of cubicle land, so instead I'll just sit here crying and shaking and looking like a moron. Thanks for that.

becky said...

i will be honest, i really love those headbands. stirrup pants have GOT to go, though. i don't care how skinny and sans-curves you are, they are not cute.

reno said...

Also, an addendum: leggings are not pants. They are many things, but pants is not one of them.

natali said...

oh thanks for the shout out. so far you are the only one who likes my skinny jean style. but oh well to each his own!

natali said...

sometimes i wear leggings as pants. have you been filming me for what not to wear?

Em said...

I completely stumbled onto your blog, and have no idea who you are... but this post had me shaking with laughter!

That headband is ridiculous!