a painful admission


Thursday, September 25, 2008


An excerpt from the IMAGINARY conversation I have every time I think about wearing Crocs:

Reno: I don't want to wear you! You are so hideous. People will look at me and think we're friends. You make me look like a five year-old, a nurse, a tourist, and an aging hippie all at the same time. I don't even know where I bought you! Was I wearing a disguise (I hope so)? It's settled. I'm throwing you away right now before I throw up. And then I'm logging on to ihatecrocs.com.

Crocs: But I am so cool and comfy and pleasingly squishy when you walk in me. All your other shoes eventually hurt you and make you cry, but I? I never hurt you. Sure, I'm not much to look at, but you have to walk twenty blocks this afternoon and you have chronic foot pain. Also, you're in New York and no one knows you or cares what you're wearing. Look at that dude over there: HE'S wearing lipstick and an OveGlove. TO WORK. You? You just want to wear comfortable shoes! Plus, I'm not even the REALLY ugly kind. I'm actually cute. See my little Mary Jane-esque strap? Putmeon-putmeon-putmeon.

Reno: Gah, OKAY. Sigh... you really are so comfy. Who cares what people think? Let's go walking! Let's go walking to a shoe store!

An excerpt from an ACTUAL conversation I overheard WHILE shopping for shoes WHILE wearing Crocs:

Shopper 1: Tammy needs to come in here and buy some decent shoes! Seriously, she's not even supposed to be wearing open-back shoes in the restaurant.
Shopper 2: Is she still wearing those gross Crocs?! Blech! How can she even leave the house in those?
Shopper 1: They're disgusting. Why would ANYONE buy those?

Now, I know I've been accused of caring too much about what people think... but is wearing Crocs a sign of not caring enough? Is it not enough to mumble, "I know these are hideous don't judge me" before donning the offending items? Are they truly unforgiveable? You have some time to think about your response: it's getting cold and I won't be able to wear them for several months (not that I wore them that much to begin with I'm just saying). Because here's where I draw the line: Crocs with socks. Meatloaf wouldn't even do that. And he'd do ANYTHING.

13 comments:

Chris, Erica, & Avva Kinnersley said...

I have heard crocs are comfortable, but I just can't by a pair for myself. Avva does like hers though. Very funny story!

Camilla said...

I have a similar dilemma every single day. I finally broke down and wore the socks today though, since the crocs squeak without them. I think it looks OK though, since the pants, shoes and socks are all the same color. Right? or am I just slowly giving up? Gah, Mom jeans are just mere steps away! I think I need a closet intervention.

breckster said...

I wore brand new Nothinz for my first 2 months as a New Yorker. When others were complaining of foot pain at the end of the day, my feet were happy. Then we left for a day trip to Sleepy Hollow and I discovered a hole in the bottom of my beloved bright red shoe, I had to buy some shoes in Grand Central before getting on the Metro North train. They had Crocs there, but I bought dependable running shoes because I can't spend 40 bucks on shoes that I can walk a hole into in two months.

sarah at twolooseteeth.com said...

Your awesomeness outweighs the offensiveness of crocs. Luckily.

laceyJ. said...

Ha! I dare you to wear em.

Jessica said...

I bought whote ones while I was in esthetics school, and enjoyed wearing them 6 days a week. But now they are under my bed away from temptation. If I lived where I had to walk a lot, I would strap those puppies on in a heartbeat.

Jessica said...

white ones

frances said...

don't fret, little out-of-towner. i have seen many a full-blooded manhattanite wearing them, too. (also, do you have time to stalk the cast of "gossip girl"? i don't have $5,000 (eff you, economy!) but it would be worth something for both of us, i am sure.)

natali said...

once i dated a boy who thought he was really into fashion and thought crocs looked good. it was a very confusing time for me.

Rupper Family said...

I've been wearing the same pair of Teva thongs almost daily for like four years now that I think of it. Oh my beloved stinky stinky flip flops...

Wear what you will Girl! Although, if you couple your crocs with ankle socks and sweatpants even I will say something!
-Wendy

Sarah Wood said...

I don't know...it kind of looked like those crocs had been wore quite a bit....

The Bruces said...

Did you know they make them now with furry liners? I have yet to break down and buy a pair of crocs, but everytime I go to REI I try those furry crocs on and I get warm fuzzies all over. I think I am giving up and will buy them very soon.

Jed said...

Kate won't let me get a pair. She is such a tyrant!