it's all true.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Here are the saddest things I can think of:

A programmer, who is sort of socially inept and probably used to a lifetime of bullying, is approached by two designers who are looking for help with their website but because the website has a funny name and the designers are cleverly dressed and popular, the programmer thinks they are making fun of him and that the website to which he’s navigating is ultimately going to be a big prank and they’re going to cackle hysterically and hi-five each other as they walk away.

A seventh grader is about to turn twelve, so his mom plans this big, huge blowout party where she rents out the whole community center gym and gets a movie projector and a trampoline and magicians and pizza and party favors and a big fold-out table for stacking gifts and she’s banking on the idea that people will be so excited about this awesome party that they’ll sort of forget her son isn’t that awesome, but it’s a busy weekend with lots of other obligations and people haven’t forgotten that her son isn’t very awesome, so no one shows up to the party not one single person.

A marketing manager, who makes this really awesome chili, makes this really awesome chili for a Valentine’s Day potluck, but because she gets really busy with work stuff in the morning, she forgets to plug in the Crock Pot until it’s almost time for the potluck, meaning her chili is just sort of tepid and everyone keeps choosing the other soups because they’re hot, leaving her with about one million gallons of piping hot chili at about 5:00pm.

P.S. They weren’t making fun of him. The twelve year old turned out okay. I had a fantastic Valentine’s Day.


Emily said...

I'm glad you had a fantastic Valentine's day and I'm sorry I've been such a bad caller backer lately. Have fun on your trip and make sure to teach FLD the road trip sign.

Jessica said...

that is too bad about your chili, b/c if it was the recipe you gave me, I would eat it luke warm.

Actually, I am not sure if I will be making it agin, b/c devin{he has to cook the turky cause I get grossed out}started cooking the turkey for it one night and it was rancid. I am not a gagger, but whoa, that smell will stick with me forever.

Denise said...

I love your posts b/c I never know where they are going and they turn out so clever. You really could be on the NYT best-seller list even if you wrote a story about the toad tunnel that was built under a road which proved to be a raging success due to the decrease in toad homicide.

natali said...

this is my favorite biggest little post yet

The Mediocre Gatsby said...

Those are great stories. So sad.

laceyJ. said...


I have to let you know: If I ate meat, I would've had 4 bowls of your chili; it looked so yummy...! Really. Truly. Madly. Deeply.

Cicada said...

If I'd been around on V-Day, I would have eaten your chili.